How Moms & Dads See Dads--a Research Study

"Fathering Behaviors as Perceived by Both Parents" is a University of Houston study a to understand the involvement of fathers in a child’s life from either the father’s or the mother’s perspective. 

The survey has a male version and a female version and takes about 30 minutes to complete; you may also write additional comments related to fathering behaviors at the end.

Your answers are based on your own opinion and experience and there are no right-or-wrong answers. This questionnaire is anonymous; your personal identity will not be known to the researcher and your answers will be reported collectively with other participants’ input.  

To participate in this study go to the survey and follow the instructions.  We'll update you on the results once the researchers are done with their work.

Connecting with Kids Through Dads

Research from the well respected Search Institute shows that only 35 percent of young people say they feel a caring adult at school truly knows them, let alone their interests. 

Congregations and youth organizations don't fare much better.

At the same time, years of research show that the impact of even one caring adult relationship has huge benefits for a child.

If you are a professional working with families, you probably already know the importance of your positive relationships with kids.

You can strengthen and nurture those relationships by respecting and engaging with the child’s family.  

But have you reflected on how seldom such a professional-to-family connection is made with a child’s father or stepfather?

Check back here (or subscribe to the blog) for tips for professionals to tap the power and potential of father-child relationships.

If you or your agency could benefit from father involvement strategies, contact me for information about my in-service trainings and consulting.

Show Me the Money

Financial literacy remains an under-taught and under-discussed subject in our schools and homes.

Now, a new report from the respected Search Institute suggests that existing financial literacy programs may be working from flawed assumptions. The report identifies these as:

• Limited evidence of program effectiveness in having a lasting impact on student knowledge or financial behaviors
• A persistent myth that financial knowledge is a primary driver of financial decisions, given that so many psychological and other factors play major roles in choices
• The danger of “blaming the victim” by putting primary or sole responsibility on the individuals for their financial situation
• The limited relevance of the core content of many financial literacy programs, particularly for low-income youth and families
• Questions about whether to focus on financial “literacy” or financial “capability

If you work with families, financial literacy for children (and parents) ought to be part of your work. Most parents--including fathers and stepfathers--are in the workforce and managing money.

That makes it essential to include parents--including fathers and stepfathers--in our efforts to raise citizens who know the values and strategies they need to manage their resources over a lifetime.

What are you doing to improve financial know-how for children and families?

How Much Can Marriage Solve?

For years, there's been heated debate about the efficacy--and moral assumptions behind--marriage promotion as a solution for poverty. Much of what we've read through those years has been simplistic and too readily used to promote one political policy agenda or another.

A recent discussion of the relationship between poverty and marriage is refreshingly different. Former George W. Bush adviser Ron Haskins makes a strong case in the Washington Post for greater personal responsibility among young people, and proposes marriage as a good measure of same.

Jodie Levin-Epstein, responding in the Huffington Post, makes an equally strong case that young people with little hope of economic stability may be acting responsibly by not bringing that instability into marriage. Levin-Epstein, deputy director of CLASP, which advocates on low-income policy matters, writes that poor people crave relationship stability as much as the affluent do.

In 20+ years of listening to men talk about their fathering and stepfathering experiences, it seems clear to me that poverty can't be licked with a one-size-fits-all relationship remedy. I am relieved to see some nuance about the marriage-promotion discussion migrating from academia into mainstream opinion-makers' conversation.

For ongoing perspective and research on these issues, connect with the Center for Family Policy and Practice at http://www.cffpp.org/.

Webinar: Power & Potential of Father/Daughter Relationships

You’re invited to a webinar I'm doing March 3 on the father-daughter relationship. Should be an interesting hour, and having you there would add a lot to the experience for other participants (and maybe for yourself!). The details are below. Thanks! – Joe

The Power & Potential of Father/Daughter Relationships
Presented by Joe Kelly, Fathering Educator at The Emily Program and
author of the best-seller Dads & Daughters®: How to Inspire,
Understand and Support Your Daughter.

Date: Thursday, March 3, 2011
Time: 8:00PM - 9:00PM(EST)

Unlock the unique influence of fathers and stepfathers as the "first  man" in his daughter's life—along with fun and practical strategies for how to use that influence intentionally and intelligently.
(Facilitated by Lisa Kaplan-Miller as part of the National Association of Mother Centers' Parenting & Family Webinar Series)

Author, activist and father Joe Kelly speaks around North America on fathering, parenting, and media's impact on the family. He is Fathering Educator for The Emily Program, one of the largest eating disorders treatment programs in the US.

Register now!

JOINING A WEBINAR IS EASY! ALL YOU NEED IS A PHONE LINE AND A COMPUTER.

Father-Child Gratitude

Sometimes we’re so busy trying to get though today’s crazed schedule—or preparing for tomorrow’s and the next day’s—that we forget to talk about the most important things. Especially at this time of year.

Here’s a quick and simple exercise, appropriate for Thanksgiving week, to better understand how important you and your child or stepchild are to each other.

Jot down 10 things you are grateful for as a Dad. Make sure that at least 5 of those things relate directly to this individual child—what you are grateful to her or him for…or what it is about this child that you want to give thanks for.

Type up your list and print it out nicely so that you can present it to your child. Feel free to decorate it, use fancy fonts, or keep it very simple. Then, give it to your child.

Invite your child to write down 10 things she or he is grateful for about being a part of the family you both belong to—and invite her or him to share that list with the rest of the family.

Few of us spend a lot of conscious energy thinking about gratitude, so it can take some effort and concentration to articulate the things for which we are grateful. That’s OK—like most essential things in fathering, what is hard is also worthwhile.

We’re very grateful that you care so much about healthy, engaged fathering. Happy Thanksgiving!

Kelly to Speak @ MN Public Health Assn Family Forum

This year’s public policy forum for the Minnesota Public Health Association explores the intersection of the family and public health. The first forum (November 12, 2010 7:30-9:00 am) discusses ways that the family—its membership, and structure, and the interactions among family members—have changed over the last 10-20 years. 

The panelists will be Dr. Bill Doherty from the Family Social Science Department at the University of Minnesota; Joe Kelly, fathering author and fathering educator for The Emily Program;  Beth Quist, executive director of the Working Family Resource Center;  and Janet Salo, the Kinship Navigator Project Coordinator for the Minnesota Kinship Caregivers Association.

Thursday morning, Nov. 11 from 7:30-9:00 am at the Minnesota Department of Health, Snelling Office Park, 1645 Energy Park Drive in St. Paul.

The event is $8 for MPHA members, $15 for non-members and $5 for students. Register at www.mpha.net/tabs/events/eventdetails.aspx?EventId=170.