Preventing Child Abuse

April is child abuse prevention month, which prompts this question: how often do we think of men as central figures in promoting kids’ safety?

This morning, I was reading the Minnesota Fathers and Families network blog (http://www.mnfathers.org/blog/?p=13), which had some answers to the question:

We hope that all men from all walks of life will take steps to become lifelong advocates for children’s safety.The safety of children has always been a principal role of fathering. For generations and across cultures, men have stepped up to be the protector of the family — providing safeguards against the forces that would cause harm. Most fathers take pride in ensuring safety against poverty, against disease, against hunger, and against violence.

During the month of April, we honor these men for building safe havens in their homes and in their communities.However, all too often, our culture, media, and family structures, also create environments that enable men to be the cause of harm. When violence is glorified or quietly accepted, we all share in the responsibility for causing pain. It is for this reason that MFFN is spreading the message that healthy men are central elements for creating safety for our kids.

Throughout this Child Abuse Prevention Month, we encourage fathers and father-figures to advocate for child safety. We challenge you to speak up against words of violence and to step in when children are in danger. Healthy fatherhood demands no less.

For more information about Child Abuse Prevention Month, visit Prevent Child Abuse Minnesota at www.pcamn.org.

So, here’s another question: what are you doing to expect and ensure that dads, stepdads and other men are central figures in promoting kids’ safety?

Daughters.com: If You Care About Girls

If you’ve ever challenged by the journey of raising or working with a girl (if? I should say when!), then you’ve wished you could get some ideas on what to do—and get them quickly. I think you’ve finally got a place to do that.

It’s a new website,

www.daughters.com/, created by a group of folks who know girls just about as well as anyone, New Moon Girl Media.

Daughters.com features advice from experts and parents, an interactive community, and has its information and resources organized a variety of topics, from body image and building friendships to dating and communicating successfully. Key elements of daughters.com include:

• "Ask the Experts” Forum: Submit questions on parenting girls to New Moon Girl Media’s Expert Advisory Board
  
• "Parent to Parent” Discussion Board where parents, grandparents and caregivers of girls meet up, connect with and support one another on a vast array of issues
  
• Fully-searchable collection of more than 250 articles written by the top experts on raising girls—and real-life parents & stepparents of girls.
  
• Parenting Daughters Expert blogs by me and New Moon Girl Media Founder Nancy Gruver.

Here’s what renowned girls’ development specialist and author JoAnn Deak, Ph.D. says about daughters.com: “Parents of girls are in desperate need of a genuine, trusted ally available to help with the challenges of raising daughters. At

daughters.com, parents can focus in and get the information they need with a few clicks of their mouse, instead of digging through online resources or reading entire books on a wide range of topics. As a result, parents will have more tools at their fingertips for raising their daughters, and more time to spend with their girls instead of searching endlessly for answers.”

So check it out, add daughters.com to your favorites & spread the word to other adults who care about girls.

Silence is Optional

Men today are longing to have good relationships with their children. But there have been generations of silence about what it means to be a father. We didn’t hear our own dads talk about it.

At my fathering workshops the most moving moment is when I ask, ‘How many of you feel like you’ve been changed as a man by having this daughter? Stand up if you can tell me one or two or three things that are different for you.’ Everyone in the room stands.

Then I ask, ‘Stand up if your father ever spoke to you about how he was changed as a man by you being his child.’ Often no one stands, and rarely more than 3 men stand. That’s a very emotional moment.

So many of us dads never heard anything on the subject from our own fathers. That’s really sad. However, it’s also an opportunity to break that cycle of silence, and talk to other fathers (including our own) about it.

In the process of writing my book Dads & Daughters®: How to Inspire, Understand and Support Your Daughter, I conducted in-depth interviews with about 130 men across the US, and corresponded with hundreds more. Women are always startled to learn that fully half of these men said I (a perfect stranger) was the first person they’d ever talked to in depth about fatherhood. Me aren’t surprised, because we’re so accustomed to father silence.

The good news? With only a handful of exceptions, the fathers I interviewed were articulate and passionate; we have a lot to say about the experience and importance of being a dad. And while all of that had gone unspoken until the moment of our interview, those men and I quickly learned there’s real power in asking.

Kids and the Economy

Kids are very aware of the economic troubles we’re facing, and that presents a great opportunity to build communication with them. It’s an especially fertile topic area for professionals looking to provide fathers with ways to communicate more with their kids and stepkids.

According to the Scarborough Kids Internet Panel, US teenagers are feeling the effect of the economic contraction:

• 15% of teens dropped out of a sport or recreational activity
• 13% missed doctors' appointments
• 11% stopped or cut back on taking vitamins
• 33% changed eating habits. (Most frequently eating out, particularly at quick service restaurants)
• 20% have cut back on eating organic food

That said, 75% of teenagers say they are optimistic that Barack Obama will help solve current economic problems. But, 86% think their parents worry about economic conditions, and 70% have discussed the economy with their parents.

• 47% said that they would like to talk to their parents more about the issue
• 64% of teens stated that they were discussing the downturn with their teachers at school
• 81% percent of teens are also interested in understanding more about the causes of the current problems
  

This is where the opportunity comes in. if you’re a father or stepfather, talk (and listen) directly with your kids about the economy and its impact on your family and community—assuring them that your bond with them will not be broken by economic circumstances.

If you’re a teacher, therapist, physician, clergy, or any other field working with families, talk to the kids wit whom you work about the situation—and encourage fathers to seize this opportunity for greater communication.

For more ideas on strengthening father-child relationships, visit www.TheDadMan.com.